Pride and Prejudice
Sunday, January 15, 2012 at 4:34PM In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I am reposting this article that first appeared on this site one year ago. I think that it’s still a valuable reminder of the work that needs to be done to eliminate all forms of prejudice.
Pride and Prejudice
I grew up in Grafton, Massachusetts in the 1950’s. At that time, Grafton was very rural. Small town center, dairy farms, wooden-structured schools, Boy and Girl Scouts, no supermarkets, woods, streams, fields, etc.—the whole nine yards. It was an idyllic place to grow up—very Norman Rockwellesque.
Back then, the town was overwhelmingly white. In fact, the only two African-Americans that I knew when I was a child were an elderly couple, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who lived across the street from us when we lived at 8 North Main Street. After school, Mrs. Smith would invite me over for cookies and milk—invitations which I readily accepted. Both of the Smiths were wonderful and I thought of them as additional grandparents. I had no awareness of the color of their skin. None.
The only prejudices that I can remember during my childhood had to do with religions and nationalities. My family were Catholics and of French Canadian stock. I can recall my mom and dad telling me that the Baptists, or the Congregationalists, or the members of any other religion, were not to be trusted. According to my parents, those folks were going to end up in hell. We could be “nice” to them, but that’s as far as it was supposed to go.
And then there was supposed to be a certain pecking order of nationalities. Of course, French was at the top, followed by the English (I guess we French still had a lot of bad feelings left over from the Hundred Years War and the Napoleonic Wars!), which then proceeded to work its way in descending order through all of the remaining European nationalities that we were aware of. As I said—overwhelmingly white.
When I compared notes with my childhood chums, their parents were telling them similar things, albeit from whatever religious and ethnic traditions they were coming from.
And it wasn’t until I went to high school, that I became aware of the prejudice about African-Americans—primarily through locker-room talk. I regret to say that I fell into it, and forgot about Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We had moved away from that part of town by then and the need for peer-acceptance was big. Not an excuse. Just what happened.
But whether it was about nationalities, religions, races, or genders, it was always about one group trying to assert their supposed and baseless superiority over another group. It was always about pride. That was the gateway. That was the open door that attempted to fill the void of insecurities. And I suspect, that’s at the root of all prejudice—adolescent or otherwise.
Then I went off to college in Boston—the big city. And there I encountered all kinds of people, from all kinds of backgrounds.
Well, I started rebelling against all of the prejudice about nationalities and religions and races. It was the ‘60’s and I joined whole-heartedly in the national foment. It was a difficult time for our country. Everything was up for grabs. All values were being questioned and much was being thrown out with the proverbial bath water by my generation—for better or worse.
One of the good things of that time for me, however, was that I began to question and uproot the lies of prejudice that I had learned. And make no mistake, that’s exactly how prejudice happens. It’s a learned, ignorant, and malicious way of thinking and behaving toward others. One that’s utterly destructive to all concerned—including the person holding it.
We’ve seen the results of the blind, flaming whirlwinds of prejudice all too often in our country.
Hopefully, we’re all thinking about the effects of unchecked bigotry and hatred on this national holiday as we take the time to remember Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. To remember all that he, and so many others who stood for truth, equality, and freedom, did for our country and the world.
Yes, for the world. Racism is a plague that knows no borders. A plague that needs to be and must be healed for progress and all of its attendant blessings to flow to all of humanity. To every nook-and-cranny of the globe.
And for me, and so many others like me, the surest way to heal that plague—that disease—is by living the Second Great Commandment that Jesus voiced and demonstrated over two millennia ago. A commandment which can be found as a corner-stone in so many of the world’s religions. A commandment that transcends all political, social, economic, and religious views. A commandment that is at the core of all human progress.
And what is that commandment? “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Isn’t it time that we all—regardless of our faith-traditions or lack thereof—endeavor to live that idea?
Ultimately, I don’t see another lasting way.
Photos: 1) Martin Luther King, Jr. Delivering the “I have a Dream” speech in Washington, D.C. (1963), Public Domain. 2) Martin Luther King Memorial, Carolyn Collie
Reader Comments (8)
Thank you for reposting this, Ken. I also grew up in small town Massachusetts and NH and eventually lived in Boston for a while. I've been conscious of the need to overcome prejudice in my own thought over the years and am grateful for the progress and the reminder that there is still a ways to go. Actually it means a more spiritual view of everyone.
Thanks for the reminder to keep "The Golden Rule" golden.
Very helpful to think about and address prejudice in its many forms. I always found it interesting how children just love and except everyone. Their loving nature holds a message for me. If a child can love unconditionally it should be easy for us adults.
Ken's article is a good reminder of what is really important in this world. And I second what Kevin says about children and their natural way of loving and accepting others. Thanks to you both.
Thank you, Ken. I heartily agree that we must all love our neighbor as ourselves in order to bring continued and still desperately needed progress away from prejudice and toward acceptance. I grew up in northern Virginia in the late 50s and early 60s. My grandparents lived on 17th St in Arlington, VA. On the other side of the tall fence that was the back boarder of their property was the Hall's Hill portion of Arlington, which was the black neighborhood. I was always curious why their streets were not paved, the houses small and often run down, and why their neighborhood was surrounded by the tall fence making it so they could only enter and exit by one gate.
There was a small knot in the fence that allowed me to look through and talk to the little girl who lived out back when I visited my grandparents. I can't say we became friends, but it was certainly helpful to get to know her as a happy, funny, interesting child, just like me.
Today there are many groups that need our compassion, acceptance, and prayer. Love will conquer all evil.
You know what I find to be a great prejudice-buster? Discussions with people of other religions at my town’s monthly interfaith meetings. When a Muslim or Hindu is friendlier than some of my own friends, how can I not love them?
I wish I could be friends with the black Baptist minister I met at a candlelight service in another town this past Christmas Eve. Some of her theological beliefs definitely differ from mine as a Christian Scientist. But a genuine love for God and others is by far the most important aspect of my faith, and she has that in abundance.
I'm glad I checked in to see how the discussion is going. Good thoughts. What can I add? I'm reminded of hearing 2 black fellows from South Africa sing a song in Victoria, BC, Canada. The words I remember are "give us the strength to go the last mile." I was inspired then and am now by the idea of how powerful loving our neighbor is.
I'm also reminded that when Nelson Mandella visited Boston before becoming President of South Africa, he came over to The Christian Science Publishing Society to see where The Christian Science Monitor was published. He'd been able to read that newspaper while he was in prison and apparently thought a lot of it. That's an example of "loving our neighbor" reaching into nooks and grannies.
Thank you for telling about your childhood experiences with predjudice and those "superior feelings" that get into our early education. I remember my mother telling about an ancestor of hers who was knighted by the King of England and she had the coat of arms and all the trappings to prove it. She was low-key, so she didn't brag about it, but I would definitely say that it was a source of pride to some degree. Then my father would get me aside (I was junior high age), and say that while this was all well and fine, he wanted me to remember that everyone, no matter who, has a horse thief or two somewhere in his background, and that's what levels us all out. This would send me into gales of laughter, and ever since then, I've always enjoyed people's "horse thief" stories more than their illustrious ancestor stories. It's been a good way to tone down any prideful feelings and not take oneself too seriously.
I loved your thought on Christ Jesus' second commandment. To truly love each other is the ONLY answer. Years ago I took a course on the nine major religious of the world. Every single one of them had some form of the Golden Rule. Lived, that alone would establish the brotherhood of all mankind.
I loved Sue's poignant story from Arlington, VA and also Sharla's interfaith experience. I'm in an interfaith group in my community and have learned so much from the various religious leaders. I have a special rapport with a rabbi, and it's enriched my life.
I wnt to an interfaith MLK service here on the Cape We all posted a word and mine was committment--to all that brings us together As a CHristian (Scientist) I take to heart John 16 where Jesus asks that we all be one. I loved MLK day in KY where marches and gospel singing culminated in black and while people in a huge auditorium standing and clasping hands and singing We Shall Overcome It always made me weep for the progress that has been made and the role the churches play and for the progress still to come..